The Groom Of The Stool Was A Disgusting Job

Wikimedia CommonsThe Groom of the Stool transported the king’s portable toilet — and recorded his bowel movements.

While many could quite rightfully complain about their crappy jobs, no title compared to the medieval groom of the stool. This position required the appointed person to transport the king’s portable toilet — and keep a detailed ledger that chronicled his bowel movements. Rather surprisingly, the bizarre job was highly coveted.

Since grooms of the stool were in close quarters with their monarch from dawn to dusk, they had the king’s ear more than most. This position became quite advantageous as a result, with grooms serving as personal confidants of the king — and growing more privy to their wants, weaknesses, and secrets as time went on.

This position emerged out of sheer necessity during the days of the Tudors in the 1500s. With the luxurious fashion donned by monarchs, kings needed help getting out of their clothes before doing their business. Meanwhile, the medieval toilet was simply a wooden block with a hole carved into it and a fabric-covered seat.

While scholars continue to debate whether the groom simply handed the king a cloth or literally wiped his anus clean, the perks of the job were well documented. The mere act of servicing royalty saw grooms themselves become high-status citizens. Appointed by the king, they typically came from promising families.

“It grew in importance during the time of the Tudors, especially after Henry VII moved much of the administration of his government, including his finances, to the Privy Chamber where the groom resided,” said history professor Ben Lowe, according to How Stuff Works. “This led to a more administrative role for many grooms.”

With influence over the king and invaluable insight into royal power dynamics, grooms could request favors, provide suggestions, and be showered in gifts from envious onlookers. Henry VIII’s groom, William Compton, even received land grants, leases, and offices — and was paid the same as a top-tier nobleman.

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